(Disclaimer: I am not saying that love cannot exist across racial lines or within other races. I am simply celebrating and honoring love between Black people.)

What does Black Love mean to me? Everything.

Growing up I always dreamed of a forever love. I didn’t plan out my wedding as a young girl but I knew that I wanted to be a wife since I can remember. I really can’t put my finger on it, but it seemed like a man staking his claim on me forever would complete me. Imagine dreaming of going to college only to fall in love, get married, and become a stay-at-home wife. That was me.

Tv shows, movies, and music videos made Black Love seem so precious and it is. I remember watching A Different World and thinking that Whitley was so lucky to have Dwayne chase after her. I would come home from high school and watch Love & Basketball every day, sis. Like literally every day. You couldn’t tell me that I wasn’t going to marry one of my high school boyfriends who was on the basketball team. My heart was set on playing “double or nothing.”

Looking back on my fond memories of Black Love and the lasting impressions that so many Black couples had on my life, I wanted to name a few of my fav Black Love couples:

• Beyonce and Jay Z

• Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King

• Barack and Michelle

• June Ambrose and Marc Chamberlin

• LL Cool Jay and Simone Smith

• Denzel Washington and Pauletta Washington

• Bishop T.D. Jakes and Serita Jakes

When I Think About Black Love

When I think about Black Love I think about loving someone special through the good and the bad times. There is truly nothing like having a partner who loves and appreciates you while also identifying with your societal struggles and setbacks. I think about my great aunt and uncle who have been married 50+ years. I think of cleaning up the whole house only to fry some bacon for breakfast while listening to oldies on a Saturday morning. I think about trips to the car wash with my dad and trips to the grocery store with my mom. They always made little things special. I appreciate their love for each other and the family that they created.

Life can be hard being Black, but I think Black Love is the thing that has kept generations of Black people inspired to keep pressing forward. I think about that feeling of relief and joy when my husband makes it home safe and sound. Relationships keep us connected and intimate relationships specifically can bring great pleasure. Love is more than a feel-good feeling and Black Love is sacred. It gives us the strength to fight the racism, discrimination, and prejudices that we face on a day-to-day basis.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Genesis 2:18 NLT

What Marriage is Really About

When people say, “Marriage is just a piece of paper,” I cringe.

Marriage is a covenant made between two people before God and a group of witnesses. Yes, both people do sign a marriage license aka piece of paper. But marriage is so much more than that. Marriage is two people dying to themselves and choosing to honor, respect, and love one another. It’s riding for someone until the wheels fall off then walking the extra mile. Marriage means you don’t give up on one another.

One of the best parts of being married is having someone to root for you even when you cannot root for yourself. Your spouse is the one person that can see beyond your fake smiles and head nods. They’re the one who is with you through the highs and the lows of life. I cannot imagine grieving the loss of my grandfather without my husband. Honestly, the majority of my big life decisions stemmed from conversations or advice from him. When you marry the right person they will enhance your life. You can read our engagement story here and how we got married at Unbridaled here.

I love being a young wife. Maybe you have a desire to marry, but feel like you’re destined to be alone. Pray on it and keep on living. The right man will find you at the right time. When my husband and I first met, we had no idea that we would end up being a Black Love Story.

Keep being your beautiful self and ignore people who make you feel like you are broken because you are single. I remember feeling so alone and sad on Christmas the last year that I was single because I longed for marriage. My great aunt asked me, “What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you have a man?” At that moment, I shrunk so low and started to find flaws within myself that would help me to answer her question. Surely there was something wrong if I hadn’t been “found” yet, right? Wrong.

You cannot rush God’s timing, especially when it comes to marriage.

For everything, there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT

Why Black Love in Media is Important

Black Love in the media is important because it gives hope. Representation is important for future generations. I mentioned a few of my favorite Black Love couples above because they gave me something to strive for. Marriage has been such a beautiful thing for my life. I take pride in representing the institution of marriage that God created in a beautiful way. I pray that this post inspired you to celebrate the Black Love around you and gave you warm and fuzzy feelings.

The media tells us that Black men cheat and don’t raise their children. The media tells us that Black women cannot keep a good man. The media tells us that healthy Black marriages do not exist, but that is not true. There’s so much beauty in Black Love. Try it for yourself, sis.

Tell me what Black Love means to you in the comment section below. Thanks for reading!